But just as important as friendship is choosing the right friends. The people we allow into our lives matter deeply. As much as we often talk about how important it is to choose the right life partner, I believe choosing the right friends is just as important.
Friendship is not something I take lightly.
The friends I choose are the people my children will be around.
The friends I choose are the people whose behaviours, values, and habits will slowly influence my own.
So yes, choosing friends matters to me. It matters a lot.
And today I want to take a moment to celebrate one of my friends.
A Friendship That Started Unexpectedly
I met this friend when we were in primary school. I had known her since Year Two, but we didn’t actually become friends until Year Six.
The funny thing is, we became friends almost by accident.
In Year Five, many of our classmates left the school. Our best friends left too. But our parents made us stay until Year Six.
So there we were. Two girls whose best friends had gone… and we had no choice but to talk to each other.
And that was how our friendship began.
From that moment on, we stayed friends.
When She Said She Was Coming
Last Friday she randomly told me she was coming to visit on Sunday.
I honestly didn’t believe her.
You know those friendships where you promise to visit each other all the time, but life happens and the visits rarely happen? I thought it was one of those.
But on Saturday night she messaged again and said,
“I’m still coming tomorrow.”
So on Sunday I prepared lunch. She was coming with her kids after church, so I knew everyone would be hungry.
Still, a small part of me thought she might not show up.
Then just a few minutes before she arrived, she called me and said,
“I’m not coming anymore.”
I simply replied,
“That’s fine.”
She then asked me something funny.
“You’re not going to fight for me to come?”
And I said no.
Not because I didn’t want her there, but because I understand life. We have children. Things happen. Plans change. And when someone genuinely can’t come, I won’t force them.
Then she walked into my house.
Yes, she had been joking the whole time.
The Gift That Meant So Much
She came with a gift.
At first I assumed it was for Zach’s birthday.
But she said,
“I got something for Zach… but I also got something for you.”
Later while we were driving to deliver some small chops, she said something interesting.
“The gift I got you has something to do with your Australia trip.”
Now, this is the same friend who has been strongly telling me not to go to Australia.
But guess what she bought me?
A travel pouch.
A passport holder.
Luggage tags.
Travel bottles.
Everything for my trip.
And in that moment something hit me.
Here is someone who doesn’t even want me to go… yet she is still preparing me for the journey.
That is friendship.
What Real Friendship Looks Like
Real friendship isn’t about agreeing on everything.
It’s about showing up anyway.
It’s about loving someone enough to support them even when you don’t fully agree with their decisions.
And if the decision doesn’t turn out the way they hoped, you’re still there to hold their hand.
That’s the kind of friendship I believe in.
And I know I would do exactly the same for her.
Choosing Your Friends Carefully
Friendship is too important to be careless about.
Don’t stay in friendships where you constantly feel like you are forcing things.
Don’t stay around people who make you feel like you are begging for their time or attention.
Cut the cord.
Seriously, cut it.
There are so many people in the world who would genuinely show up for you.
I can’t wait to share tips on how to spot a great friend and signs you have a good one.
It’s Okay to Take Your Time
Sometimes I go months without making new friends.
When I move somewhere new, I can go one or two years without forming close friendships.
And that’s okay.
Because when I finally choose someone to bring into my life, I want it to be someone intentional.
I watch people.
I observe how they treat others.
I notice how they show up in different situations.
And when the friendship finally forms, it is usually a very good one.
There Is Always Room for Good People
Sometimes people hesitate to approach others because they feel those people already have their own friend groups.
But good friendships are not exclusive clubs.
If you bring sincerity, thoughtfulness, and intentionality to the table, there will always be room for you.
There will always be space for genuine people.
Final Thoughts
Today reminded me how important it is to surround yourself with people who truly care about you
People who show up.
People who support you.
People who prepare you for journeys they don’t even want you to take.
That kind of friendship is rare.
And when you find it, hold onto it.
A friend (Ayo)
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