Two weeks ago, I stood at the Sunday school podium again, and one particular lesson has stayed with me ever since.
Actually, not one
lesson.
lesson.
Three simple lessons that challenged the way I think about people, relationships, and God's purpose for our lives.
The interesting thing is that none of them were necessarily new. This is my way of living but sometimes God has a way of bringing a truth back to your attention at exactly the moment you need it.
And for some reason, these three lessons have refused to leave me.
1. Never Judge Someone Through Someone Else's Eyes
One of the easiest mistakes we can make is allowing someone else's opinion of a person to become our opinion of that person.
Someone tells us a story.
They tell us about a disagreement they had, how they were treated, or why they don't like someone.
Before we know it, we've already formed an opinion about a person we've barely interacted with ourselves.
But here's the thing.
What if that person turns out to be completely different from what you've been told?
What if the person you've been warned about is actually kind, generous, supportive, and genuine?
What if they're the very person God has positioned in your life for a reason?
One thing I have learned over the years is that relationships deserve the opportunity to develop based on personal experience, not borrowed opinions.
Get to know people for yourself.
Observe for yourself.
Form your own conclusions.
Because when we allow second-hand information to determine how we treat people, we sometimes miss out on relationships that God intended for us to have.
2. Don't Become a Distributor of Other People's Faults
This lesson hit me hard.
We've all had experiences where someone hurt us, disappointed us, ignored us, or treated us unfairly.
Those experiences are real.
The pain is real.
But one bad experience does not necessarily define a person's entire character.
Sometimes people are fighting battles we know nothing about.
Sometimes they are carrying burdens they haven't shared with anyone.
Sometimes we encounter them during one of the worst seasons of their lives.
Does that excuse poor behaviour?
No.
But it should make us cautious about becoming the person who introduces them to others through the lens of their worst moment.
I think there is wisdom in saying:
"I didn't have the best experience with them, but I'd encourage you to get to know them yourself."
That statement is honest.
It acknowledges your experience.
But it also leaves room for grace.
And I think the older I get, the more I realise how much grace I have needed from other people throughout my own life.
3. Nobody Can Stop What God Has Planned for You
This was probably the lesson that resonated with me the most.
Many of us have encountered people who tried to put us in a box.
People who underestimated us.
People who overlooked us.
People who had opportunities to support us but chose not to.
People who seemed determined to keep us exactly where we were.
For a long time, situations like that can feel frustrating.
You look at someone and think, "If only they would help me."
"If only they would open that door."
"If only they would say yes."
But what if God never intended to use them?
What if you've been focusing on the wrong person?
What if the help you're expecting from one direction is actually coming from somewhere completely different?
The truth is that no human being has the power to cancel God's plans for your life.
They may become an obstacle.
They may create delays.
They may even make the journey more difficult.
But they cannot stop what God has ordained.
The older I get, the more I realise that my confidence cannot be in people.
Not in their influence.
Not in their connections.
Not in their approval.
My confidence has to be in God.
Because when God decides to move, He doesn't need permission from anyone.
Final Thoughts
If there is one thing I took away from that lesson, it is this:
Be careful how you view people.
Be careful how you speak about people.
And never assume that another person has the power to override God's plans for your life.
People will disappoint you.
People will surprise you.
People will misunderstand you.
And sometimes people will exceed every expectation you had of them.
But through it all, God remains God.
So get to know people for yourself.
Extend grace where you can.
And keep your eyes fixed on the One who writes the story, because His plans are always bigger than the opinions, actions, or limitations of people.
With Love,
Ayo
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