Which one of you was important enough?
Guys!!!!!!
When I tell you life has a sense of humour, I mean it.
Because how is it that something I intentionally left behind over a decade ago… has somehow found its way back to me in 2026?
Let me explain.
The Backstory (Let’s Get the Timeline Right)
So this isn’t even as old as I first thought.
This iPod?
It’s from around 2015.
Which, if you know me, was a very specific time in my life.
I was in my MSc era.
Still connected to my UNI & NYSC phase.
Somewhere between who I used to be… and who I was becoming.
Not fully settled.
Not fully detached.
Not fully clear.
Just… in transition.
And if you’ve ever been in a transition season, you already know
That’s where the most intense life happens.
The Decision I Made Back Then
When I was travelling back to the UK for my PhD, new life, new chapter, new everything. I made a very conscious decision:
I was not bringing baggage with me.
Not emotional baggage.
Not situationship baggage.
Not “he said, she said” baggage.
And definitely not digital evidence of a life I was trying to move on from.
So what did I do?
I handed over my iPod to my dad.
Just like that.
“Keep this for me.”
No ceremony. No second thoughts.
Because that iPod?
It wasn’t just music.
It was memories.
It was pictures.
It was messages.
It was secrets.
Not just mine.
Everybody’s.
And I left it behind on purpose.
Fast Forward to 2026
My mom casually brings it back to the UK.
Like it’s just… a normal item.
Like this isn’t a digital vault of chaos.
Like this thing doesn’t potentially contain:
• screenshots of conversations (Lots of snapchats messages)
• old friendships
• situationships I have emotionally deleted from my brain
• pictures I probably took and forgot existed
Guys… this is not just an iPod.
This is a time capsule.
The Problem?
I can’t get in.
🙂
Of course I can’t.
Because if you know me, you already know this:
I don’t play with passwords.
I’m not a “1234” babe.
I’m not a “0000” babe.
I am CIA-level unnecessary security.
And now?
My own intelligence has turned against me.
Because I genuinely cannot remember what 2015-me was thinking.
And let’s be honest…
2015 me?
Was in her feelings.
Navigating life.
Navigating relationships.
Navigating identity.
Still growing. Still evolving. Still figuring things out.
If I Know Myself Very Well…
Now here’s where it gets interesting.
Because if I’m being completely honest with myself…
If I really know myself the way I think I do
That password?
It’s not random.
It’s not going to be logical.
It’s definitely not my birthday.
No.
If I know me very well…
That password is emotional.
And by emotional, I mean
It probably has something to do with a guy.
A boy!
And that’s where the problem begins.
Because that era of my life?
Oh, there were lots of guys.
Not even in a chaotic way, just in a very “I was young, I was outside, and life was happening” kind of way.
Different conversations.
Different connections.
Different almosts.
So now I’m sitting here like a detective in my own life asking:
Which one of you was important enough…
to become a password?
The Real Panic
Because now it’s not just:
“Can I unlock the iPod?”
It’s:
“Which version of me created this password…
and who was on my mind when I did it?”
And I’m not even sure I’m ready for that answer 😭
The Current Situation
The iPod is now disabled.
Which means:
• too many wrong attempts
• locked out
• basically staring at me like: “You thought you were smart?”
So now I’m stuck between two choices:
Option 1: Restore It
Wipe everything.
Start fresh.
Lose all the memories forever.
Clean.
Safe.
Emotionally responsible.
…boring.
Option 2: Keep Trying
Sit down.
Think like my younger self.
Crack the code.
Unlock everything.
Risk unlocking:
• memories I forgot for a reason
• people I’ve outgrown
• versions of myself I don’t even recognise anymore
…chaotic.
Current Strategy
At this point, I’m not even guessing randomly anymore.
I’m profiling myself.
• What names did I use a lot?
• Did I use nicknames?
• Was I dramatic enough to use a full name?
• Did I add numbers? Birthdays? Anniversaries?
Because let’s not lie…
2015 me?
She would absolutely create a password based on feelings.
And then disappear and leave 2026 me to deal with it.
And Here’s the Deeper Part
Because this isn’t just about an iPod.
It’s about something else.
There was a version of me that chose to leave that life behind.
Not accidentally.
Intentionally.
I didn’t carry those memories into a new chapter.
I didn’t need them to grow.
But now?
They’re back.
Locked.
Waiting.
So the Real Question Is…
Do you unlock the past just because you can?
Or do you respect the version of you who chose to leave it behind?
Where I Am Right Now
I’m not restoring it.
Not yet.
I’m going to sit with it.
I’m going to think.
I’m going to try and remember who I was…
And what kind of password she would have created.
Because maybe…
Just maybe…
There’s something in there I need to see.
Or something in there I’ve already outgrown.
Either way
This is now an investigation.
And I’m not backing down.
Welcome, to unlocking 2012-2015 me.
With Love,
A detective (Ayo😎)
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