It's a Crush

Why do we crush on someone?

Where does it actually start?

Is it the looks? The conversation? The style? The vibe?

What exactly triggers that pull?

Because one minute you don’t know someone from anywhere…

And then, suddenly, you feel a soft, magnetic tug you cannot explain.

So I went to the dictionary.

It says a crush is:

“A strong but temporary romantic feeling for someone, often unexpressed and usually felt by young people.”

But let’s be honest, adults crush too.

We just disguise it with phrases like:

“I like their energy.”

“I’m drawn to them.”

“We just connect.”

But the truth?

It’s still a crush.

And here’s the part I want to tell you, the part nobody ever explains.

A Crush Never Starts When You Think It Does

A crush never starts on the day you meet the person.

A crush never starts the moment you notice their smile.

A crush is not born in a moment; it is triggered by a series of moments.

A crush is planted long before you realise it.

It grows quietly.

Slowly.

Subconsciously.

You only feel it later.

Let me explain.

A Crush Is Built Through a Series of Micro-Impressions

Think of every crush you’ve ever had.

Every person who made you pause.

Every person you felt pulled toward.

Now go back.

You’ll realise this:

Before you ever acknowledged the crush,

They had already done a series of small things that impressed you.

Tiny things. Little things. Harmless things.

Maybe they were kind.

Maybe they were consistent.

Maybe they had a trait you secretly admire, a little OCD.

Perhaps, they handled something in a way that aligns with your values.

Maybe they reminded you of safety, or home, or possibility.

These things register quietly 

not in your mind,

but in your subconscious.

Then one day, you have a conversation, a really good one 

And suddenly the crush hits you 

and you are like, “Where on earth did THAT come from?”

But it didn’t come from nowhere.

It came from everything.

The Final Trigger Moment

There is always one moment that unlocks the feeling.

One conversation.

One gesture.

One laugh.

One sentence that lands in the right place.

And if they impress you in that moment?

Boom.

The crush ignites.

And just like that, the previous micro-impressions link together like puzzle pieces and form a picture:

“Oh. I like this.”

Why You Can Also Get ‘The Ick’

Now flip the script.

If the person has impressed you in small ways, but the moment you finally talk, they open their mouth and chaos falls out?

Finished.

Done.

The ick takes over with full force.

Because the crush can only grow if the “final moment” aligns with the subconscious build-up.

If that moment is disappointing

The whole thing collapses instantly.

Even With Celebrities, It’s the Same Thing

That actor you suddenly like?

It’s not the movie alone.

It’s the character they played.

The way they delivered their lines.

Their mannerisms.

How believable they were.

Again, a series of impressions.

So, Why Do We Crush?

Because somewhere, somehow, someone has been:

✔ doing small things that resonate with your values

✔ behaving in ways your subconscious recognises as familiar or attractive

✔ activating traits you either have or admire

✔ aligning with the version of yourself you love or aspire to be

And then one moment, one conversation, and it all clicks.

You don’t “just wake up” and crush on someone.

Your subconscious has been collecting data long before your mind catches up.

That’s the truth.