I Miss You (Quietly, Shamelessly)

Oh gosh,

I miss you.

The last seventy-two hours

have been their own kind of storm

me tossing, turning, thinking,

trying to distract myself with new clothes,

Oxford streets,

busy thoughts,

anything at all.

But nothing worked.

Because the truth is simple:

I miss your voice.

God, your voice.

I don’t know how many times

I’ve replayed the old voice notes.

Probably more times than I’ll ever admit.

But they kept me alive in the quiet,

They kept me steady when my chest felt tight.

I’ve missed you today.

I missed you yesterday.

I missed you the day before that.

Shamelessly.

And while missing you,

I found myself going back

digging through memories,

tracing the beginning,

trying to piece together the timeline.

I have a theory now.

You’d probably raise an eyebrow

and say I’m wrong… again.

But I know I’m right.

I don’t think the day we call “the beginning”

Was the beginning at all?

I think I was on your radar

long before I realised it.

And maybe that’s why nothing about us

has ever felt accidental.

Maybe that’s why everything feels

so familiar

and so disruptive

at the same time.

Anyway…

I’m here.

Still me.

Still choosing my truth.

Still shamelessly missing you

in the quiet

where you can’t see me.

 Abii