Before My Birthday: A Poem About Wandering, Sunrises, and Finding Yourself

The 12th was supposed to be ordinary.

A 4 a.m. alarm.

Coffee.

Loud music.

A long drive to work.

Another meeting.

Just another day.

Instead,

I decided I’m going to stay

it became a promise

I didn’t know I was making to myself.

A promise to wander.

Maybe after everyone leaves

I’ll disappear into the evening

To follow a shoreline

with no destination.

Or to follow streets I’ve never noticed 

Peeking through windows of closed bookshops,

Letting curiosity decide the route

To get lost,

not because I don’t know the way,

but because, for once,

I don’t need to.

Maybe I’ll walk a mile.

Maybe three.

Maybe no where at all

Except along the shoreline

I already know I’ll be cold

Maybe I’ll be brave enough

to let the sea kiss my toes,

only to squeal,

“It’s freezing!”

Complaining to absolutely no one 

Whilst laughing at myself 

Maybe I’ll leave my phone behind,

because not every memory

needs proof.

Some moments

only need to be lived.

Maybe I’ll laugh too loudly.

Maybe I’ll sing off-key.

Maybe I’ll dance with no music.

Maybe I’ll cringe,

and discover

that freedom

often looks a little ridiculous.

Or perhaps

I’ll sleep early,

wake before the world,

watch the sunrise

paint the water gold,

walk to a little café,

find a book,

sit by the window,

and let the morning

find me.

I’ve worked beside this beach

for five years.

I’ve driven past it.

Admired it.

Left it behind.

But I’ve never stayed.

Never wandered.

Never let the town

introduce itself to me.

Before my birthday,

I want to change that.

Not with a grand adventure.

Just with slow footsteps.

Salt in the air.

A warm coffee.

A good book.

A sunset and A sunrise.

An unfamiliar street.

The sound of waves.

And the quiet courage

to stop rushing through life

long enough

to simply

be. 

So before my birthday

I think I’ll finally become the kind of person

Who wanders without a destination

Who stays long enough to hear the waves,

Who lets a town introduce itself properly.

And somehow

That feels like the beginning of

Something beautifully new.

With Love,

Ayo

⸻

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