People can make you smile.
People can add to your joy.
The truth is life gets busy.
Between being a mum, working, building, showing up for everyone… it’s so easy to forget yourself. To forget the things that genuinely make you happy.
So I had to pause.
And really ask myself:
“What do I do that brings me joy without waiting on anyone else?”
Here are five things that changed everything for me.
1. My Solo Adventures
This one surprised me the most.
I wasn’t always someone who enjoyed being out at all. I loved staying indoors, being comfortable, being in my own space.
But last year… I started exploring.
And I found joy in the simplest things:
The morning rush on the train.
Grabbing coffee at the station.
Sitting quietly in a café, watching the world move while I slow down.
Walking through a museum.
Eating alone. Thinking. Breathing.
Just being.
And somewhere in all of that, I found myself again.
I even started collecting little keyrings from places I visit. It sounds small, but every one of them holds a memory.
These solo moments didn’t just make me happy
they expanded me… especially as a writer.
Love it 😍
2. Writing (My Safe Space)
Writing isn’t just something I do.
It’s something I feel.
It’s how I process life.
It’s how I express what I don’t always say out loud.
But what makes it even more special?
When someone reads my words and says:
“This is exactly how I feel.”
Those messages… those emails… those quiet “thank yous”
They bring me genuine happiness.
Because it reminds me that I’m not alone.
And neither are they.
See my beautiful writing 😛
3. Fashion (My Creative Escape)
Let me not lie, this one? I LOVE it 😄
Fashion makes me happy.
Not just buying new pieces… but creating looks.
There are days I’ll open my wardrobe, scatter everything, mix and match outfits like I’m preparing for a runway show…
Only to realise I now have a mess to clean up 😅
But in that moment?
I’m happy.
It’s creativity.
It’s expression.
It’s me… playing, exploring, enjoying.
4. Making Other People Happy
There’s something about making someone smile that fills me up.
It could be:
Buying something thoughtful
Creating a special moment
Going the extra mile for someone
I don’t do it for everyone. I’m actually quite reserved in real life. I’m not the most outgoing person, and I take my time opening up.
But when I do?
I give fully.
And seeing someone feel seen, valued, or loved…
that brings me real joy.
See, Abii genuinely happy😂
5. Buy Myself Gifts
This one?
I genuinely stand by it.
I love spoiling myself.
For my birthday, I buy myself gifts.
For Mother’s Day, I buy myself gifts too.
And if babe gives me something?
That’s beautiful… but it’s an add-on, not an expectation.
I think somewhere along the line, a lot of women were taught to wait.
Wait for someone to celebrate you.
Wait for someone to notice you.
Wait for someone to buy you something nice.
Girl!
Celebrate yourself too.
One thing I do is tie gifts to milestones and achievements.
For example, I promised myself a Prada tie once I hit a major goal I’d set for myself.
So for me, gifts become more than material things.
They become reminders of growth, hard work, discipline, and progress.
And I genuinely enjoy it 😄
When my packages arrive, I’m excited. I’m shouting. I’m happy. I’m celebrating myself.
Because I worked for it.
And I think there’s something powerful about that, being able to make yourself feel special without waiting for permission or validation from anyone else.
Take yourself out.
Buy yourself flowers.
Get the bag.
Celebrate the small wins.
You deserve to experience joy from yourself too.
Final Thoughts
Happiness isn’t something you wait for.
It’s something you build.
In small moments.
In quiet choices.
In the things you do for yourself.
So I’ll ask you the same question I asked myself:
What actually makes you happy?
Not what people do for you.
Not what looks good on the outside.
But what genuinely brings you joy?
Because sometimes…
you need to learn how to make yourself happy.
With Love,
Ayo
⸻
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