Love & Forgiveness: The Cost of Loving Fully

 

I love like

there’s no safety net

like heartbreak is not a warning

but a possibility

I’ve already accepted

I let you in

fully…

no half love

no measured effort

no “let me match your energy”

just me

all of me

every word intentional

every action deliberate

and yes

that kind of love?

it breaks you

every

single

time

but still…

I choose it

because to love

is to be vulnerable

and if you’re not vulnerable

you’re only tasting love

not experiencing it

just small bites

when there’s a whole feast

waiting

and me?

I don’t do small bites

I immerse

I pour

I give

which is why

I could never love two people at once

because how do you split

something that was never meant

to be divided?

so when I love you

I love you

and if you hurt me

I might understand why

Because 

I see deeply

I reflect

I piece things together

I understand people

even when they don’t explain themselves

but understanding

doesn’t mean I stay

hurt me once… I bend

hurt me twice… I question

hurt me again

I leave

not because I don’t love you

but because

I love me too

and when people ask

“how can you love like that again?”

I wonder…

why would I let

someone else’s failure

rewrite my nature?

why should their inability

to hold love

change my ability

to give it?

so no

I will love again

the same way

the full way

the scary way

because that’s the only love

that feels like love to me

and forgiveness…

forgiveness is not weakness

it’s peace

because bitterness?

bitterness lingers

it sits in your chest

it poisons your quiet moments

and I refuse

to carry that

so I forgive

not always easily

but always intentionally

and when love ends

whether they leave

or I walk away

it hurts

of course it hurts

but something beautiful happens

every morning

the pain softens

every day

it loosens its grip

until one day

you wake up

and it’s no longer heavy

because you gave love fully

and somehow…

that makes healing

lighter

not harder

With love,

Abii