Some people say it’s smart.
Some say it’s strategic.
Some say it protects you from heartbreak.
But before you read my opinion, I want to ask you a few questions.
Would you date more than one person at a time?
If yes, why?
If no, why not?
It’s important to actually think about your answer.
Because the way you date often reveals a lot about how you see relationships.
My Answer: No, I Wouldn’t Date Multiple People
Personally, I wouldn’t date more than one person at a time.
And my reason is very simple.
I am extremely intentional with people.
I don’t start dating from a place of labels. I start from friendship.
A lot of people go on a few dates and immediately start pushing for titles:
“What are we?”
“Are you my boyfriend?”
“Where is this going?”
I don’t do that.
I actually enjoy the ambiguity of the early stage because that’s where you really get to see who someone is.
That’s when you observe.
That’s when you watch their character.
That’s when you see if they are someone you could genuinely build something with.
I Don’t Rush Labels
I’ve realised something about myself
I take my time.
I enjoy the slow burn.
I focus on knowing the person.
And when I’m ready for labels
He is probably ready too.
But during the “getting to know you” stage, I’m also very clear about one thing:
The moment someone shows me they are unserious,
I’m gone.
Not in a dramatic way.
Not by ghosting.
But the energy shifts.
You can feel it.
You look at me… and the spark is gone.
I Give A Lot of Energy to People
When I’m getting to know someone, I’m present.
I’m thoughtful.
I’m intentional.
I’m always thinking about how to make the person feel seen.
And because of that, I genuinely cannot imagine doing that with five or six different people at the same time.
Where is the time?
Where is the energy?
How do you divide that level of attention across multiple people?
It’s just not possible for me
My Dating Rule Is Simple
If someone doesn’t make sense, I leave.
Sometimes it takes six months.
Sometimes two months.
Sometimes a week.
But I don’t drag things unnecessarily.
At the same time, I’m not unreasonable either.
If someone makes a mistake, the real question is:
Do they have the capacity to repair it?
And more importantly:
Do they have the capacity not to repeat it?
That matters.
My One Non-Negotiable
There is one moment where I will absolutely walk away.
The moment I start noticing self-erasure.
If being with someone means I cannot be:
• a Jesus baby
• an engineer
• a mother
• a creator
• an event planner
• everything that makes me who I am
Then the answer is very simple.
Bye.
It’s not that deep.
My Advice If You’re Dating Right Now
If you’re in the dating pool and someone has hurt you before, I understand how tempting it is to keep multiple options open.
But honestly?
You can usually tell within the first month or two whether someone values you.
And if they don’t, cut the cord.
Yes, it hurts.
Yes, sometimes you’ll cry.
But I would rather sit in my living room, cry my eyes out and eat ice cream than stay with someone who disrespects me.
Because staying in the wrong relationship costs years of your life.
Walking away costs a few weeks of pain.
And I know which one I would choose.
So Tell Me…
Would you date multiple people at once?
Why or why not?
Let’s talk about it.
Because if we’re finding love aggressively in 2026, we might as well have the real conversations.
Join the conversation, Finding Love in 2026 here.
With Love,
Ayo
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