Hi guys!
Welcome to Day Five of the Compatibility Checklist.
Day Four asked you to look inward: your belief system, values, and non-negotiables.
Did it get you thinking?
Did it bring clarity about the things you simply cannot compromise?
Today, we’re shifting slightly.
Let’s talk about love, but not the glamorous, curated version the world shows you.
Let’s talk about how you want to be loved in your relationship.
Not how social media says you should be loved.
Not how your best friend likes to be loved.
Not how the world expects you to measure love.
But you.
Love Isn’t One-Size-Fits-All
Some of us pick up someone else’s definition of love and start wearing it as if it’s ours.
Perhaps it’s a close friend, perhaps it’s social pressure, maybe it’s the growing obsession with grand gestures.
But here’s the truth:
Your love language doesn’t need to look like anyone else’s.
Traditionally, love languages are grouped into five:
Words of affirmation
Quality time
Physical touch
Gifts
Acts of service
All of them can matter.
Some might be more important than others.
For some people, they intertwine beautifully, feeding into one another.
For others, there’s one that truly anchors them emotionally.
But what’s worrying in this generation is the rising pressure to make gifts the ultimate proof of love.
“What did he get you?”
“What did she buy you?”
“Did you get something big?”
But what if that’s not your thing?
What if you value conversations, softness, time, presence, and stillness?
What if love to you is a lazy day indoors, talking endlessly and laughing?
Why should you be shy to say that with your full chest?
Start With You: What Makes You Happy?
Before you consider anyone else, pause and ask:
What actually makes me feel loved?
What makes my heart soften?
What makes me fall deeper?
What do I value that others may overlook?
Is it how they talk to you?
How they look at you?
How they show up for you?
How they touch you gently?
How they pay attention to the smallest detail?
Whatever it is… own it.
Then Communicate It, Clearly
You can’t expect someone to love you well if you hide what matters.
And when they do something you like?
Say it.
Don’t just blush internally.
Don’t keep it quiet.
Tell them:
“What you did made me happy.”
“I like how you showed up for me.”
“I love how you pay attention to detail.”
"Thank you for the beautiful gift"
Give receipts.
Real, specific examples.
I always say: if I affirm you, I mean it.
I don’t flatter.
I don’t give empty words.
If I like you, there is a reason, and I will tell you what it is.
And yes… as I get to know a person, I start learning:
what matters to them
what they respond to
what they don’t care much about
Not everyone is observant like that.
Some people genuinely need words.
So speak.
Clarify.
Express.
Love + Communication = Intimacy
The best intimacy arises from love and open communication.
Physical touch feels different when it’s from someone you truly love.
It’s deeper.
More grounding.
More honest.
More felt.
But intimacy in all its forms becomes richer when both people understand each other’s needs.
Your Day 5 Assignment
Ask yourself:
How do I want to be loved in this relationship?
Write it down.
Own it.
Then communicate it to the person you’re with.
Because part of compatibility is simple:
If I say I don’t like something, do you listen?
If I say I love something, do you try?
Are we adjusting for each other?
When communication is ignored repeatedly, that is information.
Final Thoughts
Love should not be defined for you by the world.
You get to define it.
You get to express it.
You get to ask for it.
And you get to grow it with someone willing to meet you there.
Happy Friday, Guys.
See you tomorrow for Day Six of the checklist. 💛
With Love,
Ayo
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