This person isn’t technically my friend yet, but I can see a friendship taking shape. I’m being intentional about getting to know them, and I’ve come up with a birthday idea that could work for anyone you’re hoping to grow closer to.
The title is Ten Pounds and Vibes.
You don’t have to stick to £10. It could be £5, £50 or anything, depending on your budget. The amount isn’t the point. It’s about choosing something that shows you’ve paid attention to the person.
I know this person is sentimental and down to earth. Flashy gifts probably wouldn’t mean as much to them as a memory, a shared experience, a challenge or the chance to build something together. That’s what I want the gift to say: I may still be getting to know you, but I’ve noticed a little about who you are.
If you know me, you know I’m intentional about gifts. I want someone to open what I’ve chosen and think, “Oh, she knows me”, or at least, “She’s been paying attention.”
The plan: a birthday scavenger hunt
I’d message them beforehand and say, “I have a plan. All you need is £10 and to show up on the day.”
Then I’d pick them up and drive us into town. They’d get to experience my driving, which, I like to say, you either really enjoy or really panic through. One of the two.
Once we’re there, we’d split up and go on a little scavenger hunt. They’d look for something they think I’d love, and I’d look for something I think would mean something to them. We wouldn’t shop together, so neither of us could be influenced by the other person’s facial expressions or reactions.
The challenge is to choose something thoughtful within the budget. We could set a few rules, too. For example, some of my obvious favourites would be off the table: no Coke, and no edible treats I usually gravitate towards. That makes it a little harder and a lot more interesting.
Then we’d meet back up and exchange gifts. The best part wouldn’t necessarily be what we bought. It would be talking about the choices: Why that shop? What made you pick that item? What did you notice about me? What did you hope I’d understand from your gift?
I’d love to hear how many shops they considered, what caught their eye, and what they thought I might value. That conversation is the real gift. It gives you a glimpse into how someone thinks and what they’ve noticed about you.
And if we have any money left, I might spend mine on something tiny, silly or completely useless, just because. Then I can explain why I chose it. I’ll probably get myself a Coke and a snack, too. I have to be realistic about my own priorities.
A date idea, or a friendship idea
This doesn’t have to be a date. It could be something you do with a friend, or with someone you’re intentionally getting to know. It’s a lovely way to spend time together, have a laugh and learn how the other person sees you.
I like getting to know people and working out whether we could have a meaningful place in each other’s lives. I’ve lost some friendships over the last few months, and I’m trying to build connection again. I know I’ve played my part in some friendships ending, too. Sometimes people simply grow and change.
For me, this is one small way of showing up with intention. It’s not about spending a lot. It’s about sharing an experience and paying attention to the person in front of you.
So, if you’re looking for a fun way to celebrate someone or get closer to them, borrow my idea: Ten Pounds and Vibes. Adjust the budget to suit you, pick a date, head into town and see what you learn about each other.
I’m just hoping the person I have in mind doesn’t read this before their birthday.
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