In fact, one of the only times I genuinely give myself permission to sit down, switch off and watch hours of TV is when I am on annual leave.
And I had some annual leave recently.
Let me tell you how seriously I take this whole resting business.
I either stay in my bed or migrate downstairs to the sitting room with my blanket. Then I find one comfortable position and basically remain there for hours.
Most of the time, I do this at night, especially when my annual leave falls during the school holidays because, obviously, the children are still very much around during the day.
Once they are settled, though?
Blanket.
Drink.
Popcorn.
Biscuits.
Pringles and Ice cream
Something sweet.
And Netflix.
I have such a sweet tooth, so there absolutely has to be something sweet somewhere in this arrangement.
Then I just veg out.
No guilt.
No productivity.
No trying to multitask while watching.
Just me, my blanket and whatever nonsense Netflix has convinced me to click on.
And during this particular annual leave, I managed to watch three things.
This isn’t necessarily me telling you that these are the three greatest things ever made and that everybody must immediately go and watch them. Think of this more as: this is what I watched, and this is what each one left me thinking about.
The first thing I watched was Death of the Pastor’s Wife.
And goodness.
This one was heavy.
It follows the story of Mica Miller and her marriage to pastor John-Paul Miller, looking at allegations of control, manipulation and abuse within their relationship.
What stayed with me most wasn’t even only the marriage itself. It was the way religion could become part of the manipulation.
And I think there is such an important lesson there.
Know God for yourself.
Not simply through your pastor.
Not through your husband.
Not through your wife.
Not through your parents.
Not through somebody who appears to know more Bible verses than you do.
Know God for yourself.
Because when somebody begins using scripture or your faith to control you, guilt-trip you or convince you to remain somewhere destructive, you need to be able to separate what they are saying from what you actually understand about God.
Watching Mica’s story, I kept thinking about how young people can sometimes be particularly vulnerable when someone older or more influential already knows exactly what they believe and what they stand for.
You can manipulate somebody much more easily when you know which buttons to press.
And sometimes religion becomes one of those buttons.
It was incredibly sad to watch.
But of the three things I watched, this was probably the one that made me stop and think the most.
2. Run Away
The second thing I watched was Run Away.
Now this one was much more in my usual territory because there is crime, mystery, family secrets and plenty of what on earth is actually going on here?
Basically, a father is desperately trying to find his daughter, Paige, whose life has taken a completely different turn from the one her family imagined for her.
She had grown up in what appeared to be a stable home and had gone off to university, but somewhere along the line drugs entered the picture and everything began to unravel.
But interestingly, my biggest takeaway wasn’t actually about drugs.
It was about parenting.
More specifically:
Parents, please talk to each other.
There are situations where a child will tell one parent something and immediately add:
“Please don’t tell Mum.”
Or:
“Please don’t tell Dad.”
And depending on what it is, I completely understand protecting a child’s confidence.
You don’t necessarily have to go back to the child and announce, By the way, I told your mother everything.
But if the information could affect that child’s safety, wellbeing or future?
For goodness’ sake, tell your spouse.
You can tell your spouse and agree that they won’t confront the child about it.
But keeping serious information completely away from the other parent can make an already difficult situation so much worse.
Watching Run Away reminded me so much of my parents growing up.
Those two were OPEN BOOKS.
Honestly, it was maddening.
You would tell Daddy something and somehow Mummy already knew.
You would tell Mummy something and Daddy knew.
At some point, you simply accepted that telling one parent was practically the equivalent of issuing a press release to both of them.
😂
But now that I am older, I understand it differently.
They were raising children together.
And when it came to important things, they operated like a team.
There is a part of Run Away where you really see how secrets inside a family can grow and grow until everybody is dealing with consequences that could potentially have looked very different if people had simply spoken to each other.
So yes, I came for the crime.
I stayed for the parenting lesson.
3. His & Hers
And finally, His & Hers.
Now, annoyingly, I have not finished this one.
And my annual leave has ended, which means I am basically going cold turkey on television again.
Painful.
Because this is the kind of programme that is very easy for me to get sucked into.
There is a murder.
There is a detective.
There is his estranged wife, who is a journalist.
There are secrets.
There is history.
There are people who may or may not be telling the truth.
Basically, all the ingredients required for me to completely forget that I have responsibilities.
The husband and wife have become separated, and as the story unfolds, you begin learning more about what happened between them while they are also both connected to this murder investigation.
And I love stories like this where the crime is happening in the foreground, but there is another whole relationship story slowly unravelling underneath it.
I also started watching it because I recognised Jon Bernthal, who plays the detective, from other things I have seen, and I generally enjoy his films and series.
So this one quickly became my okay, one more episode programme.
Unfortunately, I haven’t reached the end.
And because I am back to normal life now, I genuinely might not finish it until December.
Imagine.
😂
And That Was My Annual Leave TV Binge
Those were the three.
Death of the Pastor’s Wife.
Run Away.
His & Hers.
I would have loved to watch more, but because the children were also on holiday, there is only so much uninterrupted television a mother can realistically achieve.
Although I am now seriously considering taking about three days of annual leave at some point with absolutely no agenda whatsoever.
No errands.
No appointments.
No while I’m off, let me quickly sort this out.
Just three days dedicated to being horizontal and getting drunk on television.
Not actual alcohol.
Just television.
😂
There is something quite lovely about occasionally allowing yourself to consume something purely because you enjoy it.
Not because it is educational.
Not because it is helping your career.
Not because it is part of some self-development challenge.
Just because you want to sit under a blanket, eat biscuits and find out who committed the murder.
And for someone like me who can go months without properly watching television, annual leave is sometimes exactly when I need that.
So if crime, mystery and slightly complicated family situations are your thing, Run Away and His & Hers might be worth adding to your Netflix list.
And if you have already watched any of these, tell me what you thought.
Especially His & Hers.
But please, for the love of everything good, do not tell me how it ends.
I still have hope that I will finish it before Christmas.
With Love,
Ayo
⸻
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