Appreciate People Before You Lose Them

There’s something I need you to do this week.

Not next month.

Not on Mother’s Day.

Not on Father’s Day.

Not on someone’s birthday.

This week.

Tell someone thank you.

Tell someone you appreciate them.

Tell someone how much they mean to you.

Tell someone how much their presence has mattered in your life.

Because one thing life keeps teaching me over and over again is this:

We really do not know how long we have with the people we love.

This all started on Sunday morning.

I woke up very early, started cleaning, and decided to listen to a podcast while I worked. I was listening to one of Simon Sinek’s podcasts called “The Leadership Advice Nobody Follows, But Everybody Should” featuring Don Yaeger.

And honestly?

One particular story stopped me in my tracks.

Don spoke about a basketball coach who had a habit of writing his wife a love letter every single month.

Not just random love letters.

But letters telling her all the things he wished he would have told her before she died.

That part hit me deeply.

Because as someone grieving my dad, I realised something while listening:

One of the reasons my grief carries peace alongside pain… is because my dad knew I loved him.

I told him.

Constantly.

When my dad was alive, I would randomly appreciate him all the time.

But on Father’s Day?

Oh, I went all out.

Birthdays?

I wrote poems. Long messages. Deep reflections.

I told him exactly who he was to me.

Exactly how much I loved him.

And even now, after his passing, I still write about him the same way because that love never stopped.

Looking back now, I’m grateful I never waited.

I never assumed he “already knew.”

I said it.

One of the moments I treasure most now is a gift I gave him before he passed.

I even told my mum to record the moment.

And in that video, you can hear him saying:

“Thank you, thank you, thank you.”

Over and over again.

Could he have bought the gift himself? Absolutely.

But that wasn’t the point.

The point was that he felt loved.

He knew I cared.

And honestly? That matters to me so much now.

Life gets busy.

Very busy.

And sometimes we become so focused on responsibilities, deadlines, children, work, bills, routines, and stress… that we forget to slow down and appreciate the people quietly loving us every day.

Your mum.

Your dad.

Your spouse.

Your siblings.

Your friends.

Your colleagues.

The person constantly showing up for you.

We wait for occasions before we become expressive.

But love should not only appear on special days.

Sometimes people need flowers on ordinary Tuesdays too.

That’s the thing about gratitude.

It softens people.

It strengthens relationships.

It reminds people that what they do matters.

The most beautiful part of the podcast for me was what happened next.

After hearing that advice, Don started writing letters to his wife too.

One letter every day for a year.

Then on Christmas Day, he gave her all the letters together.

And throughout the following year, she opened one letter per day.

How beautiful is that?

Imagine living with someone and intentionally training yourself to notice the good in them daily.

Not the toothpaste left open.

Not the shoes by the door.

Not the little habits that normally irritate us.

But the good.

The effort.

The kindness.

The presence.

The love.

And honestly?

I think that kind of intentional appreciation could transform so many relationships.

So this Monday, I’m giving you homework.

Appreciate someone.

Send the text.

Write the message.

Buy the small gift.

Say thank you properly.

Finally,

L, if you are reading this and thinking of buying me thank-you gift, the one below would do.

Favourite thing right now 😜😜

Don’t wait until grief teaches you what gratitude could have taught you earlier.

Happy Monday 🤍

With love,

Ayo

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